Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
