I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
