I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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