I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
