Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
