if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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