he wants to bone in the snuggie
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
