i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
