You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
