oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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