so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
