I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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