i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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