I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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