Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
