I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
