Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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