i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
