im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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