so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Vodka?
Forever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
