I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
