He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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