Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
