Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
