operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
