Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
