We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
