At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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