Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
