So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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