oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
