I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
