He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
