I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
