Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
