No awkward lesbian experiences without me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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