so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
