Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am naked and annoyed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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