i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
