So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
