I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
