Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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