i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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