Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize