Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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