Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
