if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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