I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
