Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
