wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
