I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
