I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
