Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
